PEN-sealed

I etched you in thee.

I break pieces of me to fill out those broken pieces of yours. I cut my flesh out to patch up those ripped parts of yours. I want you to feel whole even if it means losing parts of me.

I write because you are more than just a view to get viewed. I write not because I want to show others how fancy we can get but rather I write because you mean to me. I write because there’s only you whom I would love to impress and for you to know how much darkness loves to be embraced by a sun.

This words are imperfect as how I see you but this words are actually the words that suits you. See those open wounds of yours? They’re healing, they’re healing because you wanted to get better. You get better because you see yourself having worth more than you expected.

I write not because I want you to hear my sentiments out. I write because I need to vent this out for you to directly feel how much the sea mean to a shark.

The thought of you is so vast. I can’t even stop writing. I can’t even see the period. We’re both stranded on a loop. Where you’re stuck in my mind and I’m stuck at this paper. Nothing makes me a lot happier seeing you in words. Words that I really know was you.

I don’t bring the best in you but you bring out the best in me. I kept staring straight at your gaze to see how genuine those eyes are. Can’t you see how it smiles? Like a pen craving for a paper to write. You found a shelter. You are home. You are at the tip of my pen. I may lose pieces of me and you see, I’m fine.

Ways to Heal Yourself

Road to self-worth and self-acceptance

Ever wondered and even asked yourself at a point in your life like “I’m so tired of being wounded, what am I gonna do to heal?

Well, we always tend to loose ourselves from the right track and started to crumble with our self-inflicted harms by allowing shady darkness and pain home inside us. It’s really necessary to of course be free from that excruciating and consuming self-hatred and let me show you some ways on how to heal yourself (based from my own experiences too).

  • Decide to pick yourself up.

You are all too beaten up to stand and fix your life in general. Sudden untoward circumstances try to wind up your way and make up some devastating contemplation yet you keep on allowing things like that to happen. Well, Pick yourself up. You have to tell yourself that you really need to change. Change for the better. That there’s no other time than ‘now and that there is no other day than today. It’s not all too late to be free. Time is our friend. Time extends help.

  • Remind yourself that you are loved by you.

You’ve given so much love to the world that you forgot your own self and that after the delimma, you all feel like you have nothing left in you and that you keep thinking about how worthless you are. We all went through that stage and believe me it’s hard to convince ourselves that we have to love our own skin most times but when we do, it’s all worth it and it sparks our inner self towards acceptance.

  • Accept what’s done and what’s gone.

It’s hard to deal with the situation like, we keep on involving ourselves with what the past gave us. You should really accept the situation because acceptance is the key towards happiness. We all have different tolerance of pain and that, healing really takes time. Move on (I know it won’t be that easy) but this is life. We need to live and not just exist. You’re existence matter. Let’s accept that we all are imperfect and we need to home into that imperfections perfectly.

  • Never be afraid to grow.

Don’t block yourself from the growth you deserve. Life has so much to offer. Embrce everything, from the slightest change to the most overt ones. Let wisdom flow naturally in your veins and as much as possible, channel your negativity and make them your mirror and imrpove yourself by making that perspective as a part of you that you want to change. Be empathic. Feel everyone and through that, you’ll know how to sort things out. By that, growth will exist.

Lastly,

  • Don’t be afraid to meet people with the same mental issues.

It’s necessary to choose your circle of friends. Someone who sees you as you. Someone who knows everything about you and is willing to be a part of your life and both grow together and learn lessons together. It’s essential to have someone with us whom we can be as open as wide. Enough with building colossal walls and cages, we can’t isolate ourselves and we can’t be selfish, there are those who need our time and attention, listen to them and hear them out and extend your help when they need so. That way, you grow and they grow too.

These are some of the ways on how to heal yourself. This may not be everything that you are expecting to read but this might help. So cheers to more of that self-worth we have for ourselves. Most of the time, we can easily say, “I love this skirt, I love this pen, I love this place, I love this dress.” But we rarely say, “I love me.” Start living now, you deserve everything, you deserve you and even the beauty the world has to offer. Love your scars but don’t forget to feel whole again and be free.

He Who Fix

Why can’t I mend my own wounds?

He’s so good at giving people advices. He’s so good at mending other’s heart. He’s so good at ensuring others that they’re not alone. He’s so good at complimenting other’s greatness. He’s so good at making you feel like you’re not alone.

He sees everything, hears the smallest hum of the bird, feathers weightlessly dancing along the wind’s melodious pattern and at how every waves kissed the shore. At times, you see him smile. Like normal days, he laughs, he giggles, he sings at the top of his lungs, he eats like he’s fine.

He was so good at hiding his pain. Pain as deep as an untamed ocean. He was so helpless that he don’t want others getting bothered by his bearings. He’s into so much storm inside. He’s totally broken. He’s superficially tact but he’s already a dust inside.

He who fix. He who fixes others, can’t fix his own self. Can’t keep himself happy at night. Can’t keep his eyes close where sleep is the only thing he ever dreamt about. At night, he feels like he’s at the very verge of the world. Talking to the stars, crying in front of the moon. And at 3:40am, he seems to be so fine not being fine — his life is a total mess.

He’s never been so happy like how everyone perceives him to be. He carries all the weight to save someone in burden. Unintentionally, he can’t carry his own luggage of resentments. He who fix was broken. He who fix was crushed. He who fix was unfixed.